Monday, May 17, 2010

giants in the land

There are giants living in my house.  You can't see them, but I know that they are there. 
I even know their names:






They live in my house at my invitation.  I don't like them, but I have learned to live with them around, and they serve a purpose.  I can blame my shortcomings on them.  They don't mind, it gives them a power over me that they don't possess without my help.

Sometimes, these giants are like Goliath.  Taunting me, laughing at me as I follow the lead of the men of Israel and cower in the face of the enemy.  Other times they are more subtle.  They sit by me and quietly whisper the names of my failures and before I know it, I am wallowing in the dirt of self-pity.

Not a pretty picture, I know.

One night recently, as I was l was listening to the voices of failure and regret, God's voice broke through to me in the form of a song.  Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns was playing on my computer and it was as if God just spoke those words to my heart and then reminded me of a devotion that my friend Amy shared one Wednesday night several years ago.  She used the familiar story of David and Goliath to remind us that our God is bigger than all of our giants.  I can't remember all the details of that devotion, but there is no doubt that God brought it back to my mind at the very moment I needed to remember that those giants living in my house head have no power except what I give them.

Like the children of Israel after being freed from Egyptian bondage, time after time I refuse to follow God because I am afraid of the giants in the land of promise.  God has set me free and yet I choose the bondage of wallowing in my sin.

Think about that for a moment. 

The God of the universe, Who holds all of existence in His hands and yet cares enough about me to know the number of hairs on my head, has set me free from the bondage of my sin and shame and yet I choose to wallow in it. 


Because I choose to remain comfortable with my giants rather than trust my God and follow Him into the unknown.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end there. 


After everyone went to bed that night, I spent some time praying.  I don't want to be comfortable with my giants any longer.  I want to be willing to follow God's leading any where it takes me.  As I prayed, God reminded me of the many, many promises in His Word concerning things I don't know how to handle, and there was one key to all of them. 

God doesn't want me to solve my problems and then come to Him, He simply wants me to surrender everything to Him.

What happened next may seem a little silly to you, but I needed a visual aid for what was going on in my head.  Here are the results:

It may look like a bunch of scribbling to you, but on that paper, my giants are covered in the Word of God.  You may not be able to see them and that is just how it should be.  When you see me, I don't want you to see my giants, I want you to see the love of my God, who covers all my sin and all my shame by His power alone with the blood of Jesus. 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:35-39

When I wrestle my giants in my own power, I will always end up wallowing in the dirt.  But, I can thank God every day that it doesn't have to be that way.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6


KTElltt said...

This is BEAUTIFUL! I absolutely love what you did for the visual aid. You have a tool that will help so many people, Jennifer. A great Christian author, Jerry Bridges, talks over and over about preaching the Word to ourselves every day. It's THE ONLY WAY to remember that Jesus has already won this victory on our behalf!

Rie said...

And when those children of Israel refused to trust, they wallowed until death took them all.

I don't want to die with my promise land there all along.

What a beautiful post. There are some giants going on in my head right now, too. Worry being the biggest. Can't wait for tonight when all is quiet, 'cause I'm stealing your treasure.

And, thank you. Tons.