Monday, December 13, 2010


I admit it.  I didn't want December to come this year.  I even dreaded the coming of Thanksgiving because I knew that the Thanksgiving turkey would usher in the December gimmies ... and I am not talking about my kids.

No, this problem doesn't lie with my children, it is in me.  I find myself fighting a desire for isolation from Black Friday until Christmas.

I don't want to know what I could be giving my kids if only ...

I don't want to think about all the the beautiful decorations that won't be hanging in my house ...

I don't want to feel the pressure to do more and celebrate better and create the perfect holiday for my family.

Don't get me wrong.  I know that many, many people celebrate Christmas from pure motives of worship and honor for the birth of Christ.  I also know that materialism is rampant year-round in the culture we live in today, it just gets to me more around this time of year.  And this year, more than ever before, I have had to force myself to even participate in the trappings of Christmas.

I am not exactly sure what the point of this post is.  I suppose I am just feeling the need to vent a little.  Nothing will change, Christmas is going to come and go and be celebrated no matter what I feel or do.  There are always going to be those around me who do Christmas bigger and better than I do.   These are facts that I cannot change.  I suppose that the change has to come from within me.


Rie said...

Jennifer, I don't think there is a right way to do Christmas. We are all guilty of feeling like you do. Sometimes it is because nothing we do seems good enough, sometimes because we feel guilty for doing too much.

I have watched you bring your children to each Christmas event and enjoy it with them. They are happy and even better, they know what the meaning is. Give yourself credit for the beautiful children you have raised in the way you know is right.

I've been trying to take deep breaths lately and let myself enjoy the season. But it is hard, and as always we are fighting the comparison to others.

I'm thinking about you and loving you. I see little, if anything, that needs changing. I see a beautiful loving wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

Greg and Donna said...

Dear Jennifer, "bigger & better" my also bring lots and lots of credit card bills and regrets later (I know, I've done it). We had a hard time not comparing when we lived with my mom...she lives in a huge neighborhood, full of expensive houses with kids who got everything they wanted, thought about wanting, or never even thought about. 5 & 6 years olds with cell phones, the newest video game system every year, etc. As a single mom, I did what I could and knew that was all I could do. Mine was the family where the kids cut grass to make money to earn Scout camp every summer. The Christmas season should be about Jesus, then special music, yummy cookies/candy (we've all got that), fun times with friends, and gifts if applicable. Don't beat yourself up over what you can't or don't want to do. Love your children and your husband...thats what they will remember! Love you friend!

Jill said...

Awww. Christmas is not about these things. It is love and togetherness of family and friends. It is easy for all of us to get caught up in the craziness, but we can't forget the things that truly matter. We have to count our blessings and focus on the reason for the season. Take deep breathes and know that you are one of the greatest gifts your family can have! Many blessings to you... as they say..this too shall pass.