I admit it. I didn't want December to come this year. I even dreaded the coming of Thanksgiving because I knew that the Thanksgiving turkey would usher in the December gimmies ... and I am not talking about my kids.
No, this problem doesn't lie with my children, it is in me. I find myself fighting a desire for isolation from Black Friday until Christmas.
I don't want to know what I could be giving my kids if only ...
I don't want to think about all the the beautiful decorations that won't be hanging in my house ...
I don't want to feel the pressure to do more and celebrate better and create the perfect holiday for my family.
Don't get me wrong. I know that many, many people celebrate Christmas from pure motives of worship and honor for the birth of Christ. I also know that materialism is rampant year-round in the culture we live in today, it just gets to me more around this time of year. And this year, more than ever before, I have had to force myself to even participate in the trappings of Christmas.
I am not exactly sure what the point of this post is. I suppose I am just feeling the need to vent a little. Nothing will change, Christmas is going to come and go and be celebrated no matter what I feel or do. There are always going to be those around me who do Christmas bigger and better than I do. These are facts that I cannot change. I suppose that the change has to come from within me.