irony

It is not unusual for my daughter to tell me, in great detail, how she will do things differently when she is the Mama. She will let her children watch ANYTHING on television especially any cartoons and anything that comes on the Disney channel. She will allow her children to participate in Halloween activities. She probably won't homeschool, though she does waver on this one. The list goes on and varies depending on what I am NOT allowing her to do at any given moment.

I suppose I could be offended by these statements, but instead I find them amusing, mostly because I remember having those same kinds of thoughts when I was a kid. I do think that I was older and my plans mostly included NOT treating my daughter any different than my sons when it came to dating and such. Ha! Now, I think arranged marriages and/or courting are looking better and better!

But, that isn't really the irony that this post is about.

Honestly, the big thing about what I would do differently has more to do with making my own decisions rather than just accepting what my parents decided for me. Now, in my mid 30's, having been married for 12 years and having 3 kids, you would think that I would be thrilled to be able to make ALL of the decisions (together with my husband, of course).

So, why is that now I wish that someone would tell me what to do? No questions, just straight answers. Lay the plan out in front of me and I'll follow!

Somehow, it just isn't that easy. As grown-ups, when faced with a big decision, (like we are right now!) we know that nothing is done in a vacuum. Any decision we make will most definitely affect our kids and could affect other people we care about.

I am thankful for life lessons though. When faced with similar decisions early in our marriage, Ronnie and I only gave lip service to "seeking God's will." Not that we didn't have a desire to follow God then, we just had a much higher view of our own ability to make decisions back then.

We've learned a little bit since then. A song that our pastor loves to quote comes to mind ... I can't even walk without You holding my hand. That may not be an exact quote, but you get the picture. At this point in our lives, we are much more aware of just how needy we are.

And that is what makes LB's attitude about doing things her way so amusing. Because I know that one of these days she'll be sitting where I am. And my prayer is that we will have taught her where to find the help she needs.

A Song of degrees.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
The LORD shall preserve thy going out
and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Psalm 121

anticipation

I am one of those people who truly enjoys family reunions. I love getting to see my cousins and catch up. Each year we promise each other that we will stay in touch through the year, but we never do. That is one of the reasons the reunions are so important. Besides that, it gives me an opportunity to see my parents re-connecting with the people they grew up with. I love hearing the stories from their childhood years and just watching them interact with each other.

Tomorrow, my family will be gathering at a nearby state park to hang out with my mother's mother's family. There aren't a lot of us, but that just makes it easier to really catch up with more of the family. I can hardly wait to see every one's kids and how they have grown since last year. There are some who aren't with us any more and even though we will miss them, we will also enjoy sharing memories of them and keeping their memory alive.

Of course, no reunion would be complete without the food. As a child, I could tell you pretty much what each family member would fix for the various reunions. For my Granddaddy's family, my Granny would always make chicken and dumplings. Aunt Mog would always bring her chicken and dressing and my mother never went to a reunion without her chocolate cake. I am a southern girl and I cannot deny the importance of the meal. So, in preparation, my hubby is, at this moment, grating potatoes for a casserole I am making and my cookies are already cooling on the platter. My Daddy just came to borrow an onion for the cornbread dressing that my mom is making. And next door to her, my sister-in-law will be making sweet potato casserole (which makes my daughter extremely happy!) and an apple cake. And on and on it goes.

So, tonight I feel the anticipation of enjoying a tradition in my family ... that is, celebrating family.

Sorting it out ...

I have been sitting, praying and staring at my computer screen for several minutes now as I try to find the words to express the heaviness in my heart. This week I have been following events that could possibly lead to a split in the church where I grew up. Even if the church manages to remain intact, the ministry of the church will be seriously wounded by the anger and hurt that has been unleashed on those who serve there. I have no doubt that this attack was masterminded by satan himself, but it has been carried out by men and women. People I have known for most of my life. People who would defend to the death that they are doing "what is best for the church." I have been away from this church for a number of years and don't pretend to know what is best, but I can't deny the heaviness that has gripped my heart as I wonder where this will all lead. I will be praying for the body of Christ in this church and I pray that they will be honestly seeking God's will for the church. I don't believe that this problem will be solved by human wisdom, only by divine intervention.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:34 & 35

no words to describe

Words fail me as I try to describe watching my husband baptize our son yesterday.

You'll just have to trust me when I tell you that I have only experienced that emotion once before ... when he stood in the same place with our daughter.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 1 John 1:4

I know that I am taking this verse out of context, but it comes closer to capturing how thankful I am for the blessing of my children's salvation than any thing else I could think of. I hope you'll understand.