what I've been doing in my "spare" time

I am working on a post to update all that has been going on with Mama the last month, but for right now I'll just say that she is doing great and I am thankful for all the prayers lifted up for her and the rest of our family. 

I don't have a lot of time to post today, but I've been inspired by my friend Donna to share some of the crochet projects I have been working on lately.  I hadn't crocheted in a while until Mama was in the hospital and I was spending lots of time just hanging around waiting and I needed something to do with my hands.  The result was actually only a couple of dish rags done in the hospital, but it re-ignited my desire to do something new.  So, with that said I have tried a couple of new dish rag patterns and yesterday I tried my hand at using thread for the first time and made a small doily.  Let me just say that I really liked the thread and how quickly this pattern came together ... lots of fun!  Now I am going to try to make a bun cover for LB's dance recital coming up in a few weeks.  I have found a pattern that I like the looks of, and I am going to try and get the materials this afternoon.

Before I head out to a birthday party and to take JW to pharisee practice (for a musical with our homeschool group), both of which begin at the same time in different cities (oh joy!), followed by a flying trip back home to get D dressed for his t-ball game, I am going to post a few pictures of my projects ...

the doily



dish rags ... these I am sending to Mama's best friend



this is a dish rag as well ... it doesn't look like the pattern exactly,
but I couldn't figure out the last part of the pattern.  I am going to have to
consult a more experienced pattern reader to help me.

this is a small heart pillow ... the picture didn't turn out too well, but you get the idea.
it is supposed to be a sachet, but I didn't have any thing scented to add.  I still think it is cute.

blessings amid chaos

Everything is up in the air right now.  I have spent the last week at the hospital with Mama waiting for test results and for doctors to remember that patients are actual people and just in general trying to keep it all together.  I have been working on (in my head) a blog post about this time, but I just don't have time to type it right now.  Some day soon, I hope.  For now, everything hinges on the scans done this morning ... if they are clear, she has surgery to remove a brain tumor tomorrow.  If the scans aren't clear, well, then we don't know exactly what will be happening, but then again, I am trying not to think about that right now.


Even though this has been one of the hardest weeks I can remember, I can't deny the blessings we have seen this past week and so I will share some of those here.


The knowledge that no matter what happens over the next days/weeks, my mother is in the hands of her loving Father and that He alone is providing the grace and strength we all need to get through whatever lies ahead.


relief from pain


compassionate nurses


nurses who are willing to keep trying until they get answers from the doctors


sweet friends offering to help in any way they can


my mother-in-law just happening to be in town last week and able to keep the kids


an understanding husband who does all he can to make things easier for me to do what I need to do with Mama


working together with my brothers to help our Mama and Daddy


a new doctor who isn't ashamed to say that he is a Christian


doctors who stay in the room long enough for you to ask questions


Mama's good attitude


Mama's sisters and their availability

Mama's friends visiting and getting to see her interact with her friends who are almost as close as family

the peace that passes all human understanding

knowing that so many people are praying for us

in everything ... give thanks

No exceptions.  God didn't tell us to give thanks when we feel thankful.  He wants us to give thanks no matter what we feel ... as a matter of fact ~one that we all know, but bears repeating anyway~ it is more important to give thanks when we don't feel thankful.  But that isn't the case for me today.  Despite the drama in our house, we still had a great weekend.  We enjoyed quite a bit of really good family time, not to mention the time spent some time with great friends. 

And so, my list continues ...

52. a quiet supper with my husband
53. knowing that the kids are well cared for and enjoying their time
54. going to the funeral home and seeing peace on the faces of the family
55. Dads taking the kids on field trips
56. enjoying breakfast and easy conversation with good friends
57. realizing that we could have talked all day and most likely not run out of topics
58. LB spending the afternoon with a friend and coming home with boosted spirits (thank you, my friend!!!)
59. fresh, honest perspective from my SS class
60. Sunday afternoon naps
61. choir practice
62. two sweet ladies from church who treated our family to supper after choir practice (fortunately for them, the kids were free since it was Sunday)
63. a trip to the library
64. my baby getting a library card and being excited about checking out his first books all by  himself!
65. a safe place to ride out today's storm and the kids basically being oblivious to what was happening outside since they were playing with friends
66. Ronnie figuring out how to fix my internet!
67. seeing the beginnings of understanding through a tough situation

how do I teach a lesson I haven't learned yet?

I needed an instruction manual for this one.  One of those step by step troubleshooting guides that tell you exactly what steps to take and what to do next if the first thing doesn't work.  But, that isn't the way it works and I have fumbled around in the darkness trying to do it on my own.

But this lesson isn't just mine ... it belongs to an 11 year old girl whose heart was broken by circumstances that none of us could control or explain away.  In the midst of my own emotional response to the original problem, I still desperately want for her to come away from her hurt a stronger person.  Isn't that what life is all about anyway ... moving forward with grace and dignity even when all we want to do is curl up in a ball and cry or, worse yet, attack the source of our anger.

The difficulty in our current situation is that she has every right ~ within human understanding ~ to be angry and hurt.  This isn't a case of a child not getting her way and throwing a fit.  I cannot look my child in the eye this time and explain to her that this is all just a misunderstanding.  Oh, how I wish I could.  Even more, I wish I could fix it for her, but that doesn't appear to be possible.

After all the talk at home, and with a few close friends, and several attempts to pray through the situation, I took it to the people who always help me to gain perspective...and who have absolutely no prior knowledge of what was going on...my Sunday school class.  I had no intention of talking to them about this, but our lesson today was from James 3 ... we spent most of the class talking about wisdom.

And that is just what I need ... wisdom to help my child work through this, wisdom to handle my own emotions in such a way that I don't become bitter toward the people involved.  Wisdom that I haven't been able to come up with in the last couple of days. 

But, as one of the class members pointed out, the answer was just one page back from the verses we were reading today ...

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5

There is just one problem.  To do this, I must be willing to give up my own anger and my own hurt and help my daughter to do the same.  No matter how justified it feels right now, it isn't from God and it isn't what He wants for our lives.  And, just to confirm what the class was saying to me, the scripture reading for this morning was from Psalm 84, but the man reading concluded with a few verses from Philippians 4 that just felt like a beacon shining on my spirit in answer to my lack of wisdom.

Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

God isn't indifferent to the hurt my child is feeling because she is His child first and foremost.  He knows that though this thing isn't life threatening, it is shaping her spirit and in this His desire should be my desire, that she walk through this situation and the many others that will arise in her life, knowing one thing ... she is never alone and her one goal should be to reflect His love, no matter what.

Maybe, just maybe, I have access to the instruction manual after all ... I just have to be willing to heed its words of wisdom ...

promises of things to come

I started this post last week when the weather was beautiful and we were all feeling a little bit of spring fever.  Today, the weather is a little more seasonal (rainy and cool) and our moods may not be as bright, but I'm going to forge ahead anyway.

Painted toenails.

Children playing barefoot in the sunshine.

Baseball/t-ball practices.

Plans for a May dance recital.

New Easter music.

Practices for end of the year dramas/musicals.

A Mama struggling almost as much as the kids to stay focused on school work.

There can be no doubt, these are all signs that spring is on the way.  I have been loving this little taste of spring that we have been experiencing over the last couple of weeks.  As always, spring holds more than just warmer temperatures and trees blooming ... it holds a promise of things to come.  Some of the things that we know are coming may not be as welcome as others ... like the 95 degree temps and 100% humidity that our summer is sure to hold ... but this isn't the time to focus on that ;-)

I have been amazed this year (as I almost always am) at the beauty and the suddenness of spring flowers ... especially the flowering trees.  This year, the Bradford Pear trees have been stunning in our area.  So much so, that even my kids have noticed how beautiful they are and how many of them they see.  Our small tree has already dropped most of its blooms and is quickly changing from white to green, but several in our neighborhood are still covered in the lovely white blossoms.  Somehow, it just seems to lift my spirit to see the beauty that God has placed in His creation for us to enjoy.  Yet, so often, I forget to praise Him for that beauty.  I simply take it for granted, as if it were just an accident of nature.

In a continued effort to take nothing for granted, I am continuing to count my blessings . . .

42. trees in bloom everywhere
43. barefoot kids ... even if it is only March
44. dead bushes hauled away and the clean new look to our yard
45. boys enjoying baseball
46. a daughter's desire to dance ... and her choosing a song of worship for her duet
47. friends who pray
48. Sunday School parties
49. Adults willing to laugh at themselves
50. simple conversation
51. the sound of rain falling as I type

blogging is "therapetic"

It is hard to believe, but I have been blogging for two years!  This is my 215th blog post ... not counting all those that I never finished for one reason or another (or the ones I finished, but didn't have the guts to publish).  It is funny to me how blogging has changed my perspective on everyday things.  I take far more pictures than I ever have before, even if I haven't used any of them on this blog lately.  Little things that the kids do and say almost always spark some thought about how I could blog what they are doing.  I have noticed that lately I am not as good about posting those little things as I used to be.  As much as I enjoy blogging, I just haven't had the time for it lately.

Still, I started blogging as an outlet for writing.  I enjoy writing and truly find it therapetic, to borrow a term from Barney Fife.  Of course, blogging isn't just about writing my own posts, it is just as much about reading posts on other blogs.  I have been amazed to realize how many normal, everyday people blog.  One of the unexpected aspects of blogging for me is the fact that I feel like I know the authors of some of the blogs I read simply because of their candor in sharing their lives.  I haven't been successful in being that transparent with my blog, not because I want people to think that everything is all sunshine and roses in my life, but because I just can't figure out how to share some things without feeling as though I am giving more information than any of you could possibly want to know about my life.

Blogging has brought unexpected blessings into my life that I never could have imagined.  Besides being a creative outlet for me, it has brought me closer to several other homeschooling moms in the area and allowed us to form real friendships.  These ladies have become very dear to me and I am thankful for what we share, both in the blogging community and in real life.  In a way, I could attribute my place in our new homeschool group simply to this blogging thing ... but that is a story for another day.

If I had to choose what I have learned most from blogging, I think my answer would be simple ... gratitude.  As I have spent time reading other blogs, I have learned to recognize the small blessings in my own life.  Sometimes that happens because the author is intentionally pointing the reader in that direction, but just as often it comes by seeing the pain and struggle that people face.  For the most part, I lead a fairly sheltered life and sometimes I am just stunned by the things that people go through.  Not only has this exposure forced me to realize just how blessed I am in the things I have had to deal with, it has helped me to realize that I don't always handle adversity in the way that I should.

When I sit down to blog these days, I am finding myself more and more drawn to sharing something uplifting ... more directly stated, I want to point anyone reading my words to the Savior.  I don't have the opportunity to come into contact with many people outside of my little circle, so in a sense, this is my mission field.  Of course, most of the people who stop by here on a regular basis are probably already Christians.  Still, we all need encouragement from time to time and my goal is to be used to provide that for anyone reading this blog.  I have been encouraged more than I can express by some of the blogs I read on a regular basis and I guess I am feeling challenged to pass that encouragement along to the next person.

All in all, I am truly thankful for what this blog has come to symbolize in my life ... a place to share what God is doing in my life and in the the life of my family, not to mention, a place to connect with others in a way that wouldn't have been possible even just a few years ago.   I do appreciate those of you who come here and read my ramblings.  I am still not sure why you're here, but I sure do hope you keep coming back for the next 215 posts!

prayer needed

Please pray for Crosby ... he is the 2 week old nephew of my friend, Rie.  Crosby will be having heart surgery on Wednesday morning.  Please lift him, his family, his doctors, and all involved in his care up to our Father.  Thank you.