things i've learned this week

I cannot, in all honesty, say that this week without Ronnie has been a stress-free week, but I do think that I can say that I have learned a few things about myself.

First, I have learned that I can do things that I didn't think I could do.  Case in point, I can use Ronnie's new plunger that isn't shaped the same as the one I was used to ... up to now, I have been unable to make the thing work, but I just couldn't see calling my Daddy to come fix my problem, so I did it myself!

Second, I have learned that, while it is very hard for me to make myself go to bed at night (or in the early morning hours) when Ronnie isn't here, I actually like sleeping sprawled out over the bed.  I can't tell you if I like sleeping alone or not since Daniel slept with me at least part of every night, he just doesn't take up too much of my space!

Third, I have learned that Ronnie's more relaxed, laid back nature is a good balance to my not so laid back nature.  I tend to get very intense about things (okay, I know some of you already knew that!) and Ronnie is the one who keeps me from running off half-cocked most of the time.  He also balances out my parenting, which brings me to the next point.

Fourth, I have learned how incredibly thankful I am not to be a single parent or the wife of someone who travels on a regular basis.  I know that God provides the grace and strength we need for any situation, but I can't help but thank Him that this is not my "normal" situation.

Fifth, and finally, I have learned how much I take for granted all the little things that Ronnie does around the house, not to mention how much I take for granted our daily conversations.  And, honestly, it is the conversations I have missed the most.  I will be so happy to have a conversation with him that doesn't involve a cell phone!

For now, it is less than twelve hours from when we are supposed to pick Ronnie up from the airport and I think I can hold it together until then ... if I can just get these crazy kids to go to sleep!!!

could i get a do-over, please?

When I was in college, my Daddy went to Montana for about ten days with HIS mother, leaving Mama at home.  When I came home that weekend, Mama wanted us to do some things together, but I wanted to get together with my friends.

Good grief, what was I thinking?

On Friday night, I did exactly what I wanted.  My good friend and I went out together.  Of course, I don't have any idea what we did, though I think it involved a high school football game.  I do remember that around 11 o' clock we ended up in the church parking lot with a bunch of our friends and played a game of Nerf football.  One of the people there with us was my brother, who, at the time was a patrolman for the police department.  When it came time for me to be home (even in college I had a midnight curfew when I was at home) he had the dispatcher call Mama and tell her where I was and that I would be home soon.

Needless to say, this really didn't go over well with Mama, but I wasn't exactly a teenager, so she couldn't punish me in the traditional sense.  She did let me know that she wasn't pleased with what I had done.  I can't remember exactly what was said, but I do remember feeling very small.

Fast forward nearly 20 years and that weekend still comes to my mind any time I think of things that I wish I could do-over.  It is particularly on my mind this week when my husband is in Alaska and (much like Mama in the time before everyone on the planet had a cell phone) I haven't been able to talk to him hardly at all and despite all of the people I have to talk to, I still feel lonely. 

I can't help but wonder how much it hurt her for me to be so selfish and insensitive to her feelings. 

The bad thing about that do-over list?  It keeps growing and so many of the things on that list are there because I put my needs above the needs of someone else.

Good grief, shouldn't I have learned something in the last 20 years ... shouldn't I be farther along the path to maturity?

Don't answer that, I don't think I really want to know.

commenting

If you have had trouble commenting on my blog ~ which I know some have and I have had trouble on other blogs ~ please try again.  I read somewhere that using a pop out box for comments eliminates the problem, so I have changed my comment form to see if it works for me.  I hope this helps!

keeping up with the guys in Alaska

Ronnie and Brad made it to Kotzebue late last night (our time anyway) and so far my only conversation with him was something like the can you hear me now commercials.  All I was able to find out last night was that they had made it safely, but Ronnie's bag hadn't ... thankfully, they did know where the bag was and that it was on its way, just a few flights behind!

Anyway, since I have very little information to share, I am going to link you over to my friend Amy's blog where her hubby (Ronnie's traveling companion) Brad will be guest blogging from Kotzebue.  I would be happy to let Ronnie do the same here, but I doubt that I could talk him into it ... we'll see, but for now, head on over to Life Sentences and see what they are up to.

on their way

The kids are finally all awake ... again. 

It is only 2:00 in the afternoon here, but it has already been a full day for us.  This morning, we left home just before 4:30 to take Ronnie to the airport to begin his long awaited trip to Alaska.  Ironically, it was almost exactly a year to the day from when he found out about this trip to today when he and Brad set out for their all-day flight that will end inside the Arctic Circle in the city of Kotzebue. 

I'm excited for him to get this opportunity, though I must admit to a little jealousy since he's getting to do the fun stuff and I am here with the kids who are already missing their Daddy.  I know that he and Brad will have a wonderful week, even if they don't know yet exactly what they will be doing.  They do know that they are flying into the Land of the Midnight Sun ... right now in Kotzebue they have about 23 hours of daylight every day.  One of the kids at church asked Ronnie when (and how) they would sleep if it doesn't get dark, but he doesn't know Ronnie well enough to know that it really won't bother him ... he can sleep anywhere!

For us, I just plan to try to keep the kids busy.  We never really quit school work this summer and Monday I plan to pick up the pace even more by adding our new read aloud and science to the math and history we have already been doing.  I am looking forward to beginning Around the World in 80 Days with the kids.  I read it for the first time last summer and loved it, besides, a book about travel seems appropriate, don't you think? 

I'd like to say that he will be keeping us up to date with all that they are doing, but we just don't know what kind of cell phone service he will have there and he didn't take the laptop.  His last text said that they were boarding the plane for the flight from Seattle to Anchorage ... one step closer to the final destination.

a long time coming

A few weeks ago, Ronnie's boss announced her retirement at the end of this year.  While this came as a shock to the upper management in their company, Ronnie and I have known that it was coming, though we had no idea when she would actually make the announcement.  Keep in mind, Ronnie works in a two person department, just him and his boss and you can imagine that his desire (and hers, just for the record) was to step into her position as manager.  He has worked under her for all of the nearly 12 years that he has been with the company and we joke that they are like an old married couple ... finishing each other's sentences or working in silence while each knows exactly what the other one needs to complete their task.

Thus began the tedious waiting game.  Ronnie had his first interview for the job the day we left to go to his mom's for the big birthday celebration.  I had visions (better known as wishful thinking) of them telling him that the interview process was just a formality and of course the job would be his ... after all, he is the only other person in the company that actually knows what all they do.  But, of course, we had to sweat it out through the decision to move the department under a different VP, which led to another round of interviews.  Interestingly, they kept telling Ronnie that his only drawback is his lack of management experience, which begs the question of how you can get management experience until someone takes that chance on your ability to learn.

Just so you know, the last couple of weeks have been tense ones around here.  It is the not knowing that gets to me.  Knowing that she is retiring, but not knowing if her bosses would allow him the opportunity to be the boss.  Not to mention knowing how incredibly hard it would be for him to help train someone to be his boss and not knowing if he would even want to stay with the company if that happened.  Trying to trust God and be patient.

I am sure that there are lots of life lessons that I could share here, but I am going to skip that today and just tell you how proud I am to announce that my husband is (or will be soon) the new manager of his department.  He has worked so hard for this company, with very little reward (other than a regular paycheck ~ which is nothing to make light of in this day and age) and it is nice to finally see him get what he deserves.  I am sure that the other candidates are as frustrated as we are elated, and we sympathize because we have been there, but this is Ronnie's time to celebrate and we are doing just that!

Congratulations, Ronnie!

ninety five ... oh my!

We spent last weekend in Gulfport celebrating Ronnie's Grandmother's 95th birthday.  We had a great weekend with the family, especially since almost everyone was there (except two great-grandkids - Ashlee and Eva and one grandchild - Allison). 

Five generations

MeeMee finally got to meet her first great-grandson ... Wyatt



MeeMee and all the grandchildren and great grandchildren who could be there


While the focus of the day was supposed to be MeeMee, I think little Wyatt may have stolen the show ....

Granny lovin' on Wyatt

Wyatt and his Nana

Trying to decide what to give someone who is turning 95 is a little difficult.  When Granny was here last we talked about it and I decided to make her a small afghan.  I will have to admit that it took longer than I thought it would, but I was very pleased with the final result.

We spent Sunday afternoon with Ronnie's Uncle Charlie, Aunt Pat and Bianca (their granddaughter) boating, swimming and grilling (actually, Pat grilled while the rest of us played!)  My children love going out on Charlie's boat ... they don't get to do this but a couple of times a year and it is always exciting to them.  Charlie is a great sport and enjoys letting the kids drive the boat.  The boys always look forward to their turn and this time, even LB took a turn ... though she wasn't as excited as the boys were.

MeeMee is the only great-grandparent that my children have left and I am thrilled that they got to celebrate her 95th birthday with her.  I hope that this is something they will always remember and that they will know how important it is to take the time to get to know the older people in their lives who have so much to offer and yet are so often overlooked by young people.