keeping it real

I'm not even going to try and fake anything today.

I am frustrated. 

I am angry. 

Mostly, I am discouraged.

For nearly eleven years I have watched my husband go to work almost every week day.  He works hard.  He doesn't complain (at least not at work).  He is the only one left of the three people (other than his boss) who worked in the department when he started.  They never replaced the other two after they quit.  Do the math ... three positions, one person doing the work.  The only reason the company could get away with this is because Ronnie came in and quickly realized that the work could be done much more efficiently if they used the computers that were already sitting on their desks for something other than e-mail.

Over the last several years the company has changed hands several times.  Unfortunately, one of the co-owners was the infamous thief of World Com.  About the time Bernie got his fingers in the pie, things started going sour and what was once a good company to work for has become a place for the "good-ole-boy" system to thrive.  The honest, hard working guys twist in the wind while others manage to work little, talk a lot, and still get promoted.

This isn't the way it is supposed to work ... at some point in time, hard work is supposed to be rewarded.

But, today is not that day.

Yes, I am frustrated and I am not feeling much like the kind of person that I profess to be. 

My heart is heavy as I feel the war inside of me.

I know the answer, but to be completely honest, I am not ready to give up my anger yet.

I suppose, it would be better to keep this venting of frustration to myself, but I am sharing because I am asking you to pray for us as we make decisions about our future.  We seem to have reached a crossroads and in all honesty, we don't know which direction to choose.