Tuesday, June 1, 2010

right before my eyes

This past Saturday night, LB danced in her sixth dance recital.  She was 5 the first time and I was just as nervous as she was. 

Two years ago she danced a tap solo to Singing in the Rain.  It was cute and she did great. 

Last year, LB and her good friend LK did tap duet to Sea Cruise.  They found out that it is harder to cover up mistakes when you are dancing with someone else.  Still, it was a good learning experience for them and they had fun working together.

This year was different.  From the first time we talked about it, she was determined that she wanted to do a ballet solo this year.  One of her classmates had done a lyrical ballet solo last year and she really liked it, and then this year her class began working on their own lyrical ballet to Amazing Grace and she was even more sure that this was the kind of dance she wanted to do.  So, when the time came, we talked to her dance teacher, Mrs. Gerry, and asked her to choose a good song for LB.  She chose Love by Chris Tomlin.  I had never heard the song, but it was a good choice.

I guess I am sharing all of this information with you because of what happened to me as I watched my baby girl dance on Saturday.  Some of you probably already know that I am not given to tears.  I don't think there is anything wrong with tears, they just don't come naturally to me (unless I am angry).  So, I was surprised to find myself tearing up when LB danced her solo.  She looked so beautiful and so confident as she waited for the music to start.  I don't know what she was thinking about, but her poise astounded me. 

My baby girl isn't a baby anymore, and yet even as I realized that she looked so grown up, she still looked like my little baby girl to me.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to find words to express how this moment touched my heart, but I also knew that I wanted to try.  It is as if that tiny baby that I brought home 10 years ago is transforming right before my eyes.  Each year, as I look back at the recital pictures from years past, I see the baby disappearing and a young woman struggling to find her way into the world.  Just typing these words brings tears to my eyes again.

I don't want to rush the process that is taking place in my girl, but I don't want to spend too much time trying to hold on to the past either.  I just want to enjoy this moment with my beautiful baby girl young lady, who will always be my baby girl.


Felicity said...

Yip, these things just happen! I like what you said about not wanting to try to hold onto the past either - I find myself trying to hold onto things that have passed, and it's a bit useless. I have to remind myself to live in the here and now! I'm glad you had such a good time - she looks lovely!

Greg and Donna said...

I totally understand the tears watching them dance. My eyes will be tearing up watching K & A dance on Sat. Its a blessing in all of our lives to watch these little girls grown into Godly young women.

Rie said...

I love what you said about not wanting to spend too much time holding onto the past. It's a good thing, though, that it is there when we need to remember.

It was a beautiful post, Jennifer, and brought tears to my eyes, also. That's a feat, cause I only cry when I am angry, also.

Congratulations to LB, she looks beautiful.

KTElltt said...

I so wish I could have seen it. You're doing such a great job of raising this young lady. Sounds like thankful, precious tears to me. Glad you were able to express them! I think those types of tears are more of a blessing for my friends who don't cry so much...